Who supports me when I'm the one holding my team through trauma?

You hold your team through the hard things they see, and you carry your own on top of it, and no one is holding you. That is a real and quiet kind of alone. The strength people lean on can start to feel like a role you are trapped in — always the container, never the one who gets held. Being the steady one does not mean you stopped needing support. It means your need got easy for everyone to overlook, including you. The care you give your team is exactly what you deserve to receive somewhere. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and you cannot ask your team to fill it — that support has to come from beside you or above you, not below. So go find it on purpose. A peer supervisor who knows this exact weight. Your own supervision or a therapist. A group of people who lead the way you do and can hear the truth of it. Put it on the calendar and treat it as seriously as you treat your team's needs. You teach your people that carrying trauma alone is dangerous. Believe it about yourself, and let someone hold you too.