Why can I take criticism at work but not from my family?

A colleague can point something out and you nod. Your partner says the gentlest thing and you bristle. The difference is not the words. It is how much you need these people to think well of you. Their nearness raises the stakes. When someone close corrects you, part of you hears it as a threat to the love, not just a note on behaviour. That is why you defend so fast. But the people who live with you usually offer feedback because they want things to be better between you, not because they are done with you. When you feel the bristle start, pause before you answer. Take one breath and say, "Let me think about that." You do not have to agree in the moment. You just have to not slam the door. The people closest to you are worth that pause.