Why do I keep refereeing despite all the hostility?

You love the craft of it, getting the call right in the moment, under speed, with everything moving fast. That is a real skill and a real joy. But it comes wrapped in scrutiny and hostility, and some days you honestly ask yourself why you keep walking out there. That is a fair question to sit with. Notice that the abuse and the love come from different places. The hostility comes from people with a stake in the outcome, seeing through their own bias. Your reason for being there, the calls you nail, the fairness you protect, comes from something truer. Do not let the loud voices drown out the quiet thing you actually love. When you find yourself asking why you keep showing up, answer it on purpose. Name what the work gives you, the game you protect, the skill you have honed, the moments only you get to have. Let that be your reason, not the crowd's approval, which you will never win. The hostility is the tax on doing a job in public. The love is why you pay it. Keep them straight, and you will keep showing up.