How do I figure out who I want to become after making serious mistakes?

This is the real work—not undoing what happened, but deciding what comes next. Start by getting curious about the person you were when you made those mistakes. Not to punish yourself, but to understand. What were you feeling? What did you need that you weren't getting? What belief about yourself or the world made that choice feel necessary or acceptable? Understanding doesn't excuse it; it illuminates. From there, you can ask: who do I want to be instead? Not a perfect person—that's a trap. Someone more honest? More patient? More willing to ask for help? Pick something specific and watch how that intention changes small decisions: how you speak to yourself, how you respond when frustrated, who you spend time with. Becoming someone new doesn't erase the past; it creates a present where your actions align with your deeper values. The person you're becoming is made in the daily choices, not in the grand narrative of redemption. Start small. Pay attention. Adjust as you learn.