How do I figure out who I actually am versus who everyone expects me to be?

This is the question Sor Juana lived with—and she refused to choose just one answer. She was a nun, a scholar, a writer, a woman in a system that wanted her small. What I've learned from her life is that figuring out who you are isn't about finding one true self hiding underneath. It's about noticing the different parts of you—the side that wants approval, the side that's curious, the side that's angry at unfair rules—and deciding which ones you actually want to listen to. Start small: What do you do when no one's watching? What question won't leave you alone? What would you defend even if people disagreed? Those aren't trivial things. They're clues. Sor Juana wrote poetry at night partly because it was hers—not required, not performed for authority. She also lived under church rules that limited her. Both things were true. Your identity doesn't have to be pure or perfectly consistent. It can be complicated, layered, and still genuinely yours. Pay attention to what makes you feel most alive, most honest—and give that space to grow, even in small ways.