How do I talk to my family about colorism when they practice it themselves?

This is maybe the hardest conversation because it's tangled up with love and belonging. Sor Juana knew something about this—she navigated a hierarchical world where her own mixed heritage shaped how people saw her intellect and worth. Start small, not as accusation. You might say, "I've noticed we talk about skin tone in ways that make me uncomfortable," and sit with the discomfort together rather than demanding instant agreement. People often don't realize the weight of what they're saying until someone they trust mirrors it back. The goal isn't to shame your family into enlightenment—that rarely works. It's to name the pattern you're noticing, explain why it matters to you personally, and be honest that this is something you're learning too. Some will hear you. Some won't, not yet. You can set boundaries about what comments you'll engage with, and that's not rejection—that's integrity. The conversation might take years. That's okay.