How do I know whether to report someone or try restorative justice instead?

This is the question Sor Juana would have wrestled with—because it sits at the intersection of justice and mercy, neither of which are simple. The honest answer: there's no formula. Reporting exists because some harms need institutional witness and accountability. Restorative work exists because healing sometimes requires something different than punishment. Start with yourself: What do you actually need? Safety first—always. If you're in danger or the person has power over you (employer, family), reporting often protects you in ways restorative work cannot. If you're seeking accountability *and* understanding, if the relationship matters or could matter, if you want the person to change rather than just be removed—restorative approaches might fit. But also ask: Does this person want to repair? Are they willing to listen? Not everyone is, and that's real information. You don't owe them a chance at restoration. Many people do both—report *and* explore what accountability and healing could look like. You're not choosing between good and bad; you're choosing between different kinds of justice. What matters is that *your* voice and needs drive the decision, not guilt or pressure.