How can I trust myself again after addiction damaged my relationships and decisions?

Trust isn't something you earn back all at once. It's rebuilt in small, unglamorous moments—showing up when you said you would, admitting when you were wrong, keeping a promise to yourself about something tiny. This is the work Sor Juana understood: intellectual and moral integrity aren't separate. They're the same practice. Start with yourself. This is crucial. Notice one small commitment you can keep to yourself—a time you wake up, a conversation you have honestly, a boundary you maintain. Keep it. Multiple times. Your nervous system needs evidence that you're reliable before you can fully trust anyone else, or ask them to trust you. With others, don't expect to restore trust by explaining or performing remorse. Trust returns through sustained, ordinary behavior. Be specific about what damaged trust. "I wasn't present" or "I broke promises" matters more than generic apology. Then show the new pattern, consistently, without demanding credit. Some relationships won't heal—and that's information about what was real and what wasn't. That's not failure. That's clarity. The people who matter will notice the changes in you. Not because you're perfect, but because you're present, honest about your struggles, and genuinely trying. Trust yourself first. Everything else follows from there.