How do I know if I'm losing myself in relationships and caregiving roles?

Sor Juana asked this differently—she refused to disappear into expectation. The question itself is the answer starting point. Notice: Are you making decisions based on what you actually want, or what you think you should want? Do people know your thoughts on things that matter to you, or mostly your availability? There's no shame in having discovered yourself *through* relationships; many of us do. But there's a difference between that and becoming invisible within them. Start small: name three things you believe in that nobody asked you to believe. Write them down if it helps. Then notice—do you live those beliefs, or just think them in private? Sor Juana kept her intellectual life fierce and visible even when it cost her. You don't need her kind of courage to do that. You need something smaller and harder: the willingness to let people see you even when it's inconvenient for them. That's where examined identity begins—not in grand declarations, but in small acts of refusal to disappear.