How do I balance being my authentic self with fitting into social expectations?

Sor Juana lived this tension her whole life—she was a brilliant scholar in a world that expected women to be silent, a nun who wrote secular poetry, a person of mixed heritage navigating rigid hierarchies. She didn't resolve it by choosing one side. Instead, she got strategic. She learned the language of power (Latin, theology, courtly wit) so she could speak her truth within systems that might otherwise dismiss her. The real move isn't about "being yourself" in some pure way—it's about understanding which parts of yourself you reveal in which contexts, and why. Some people call this code-switching. I call it wisdom. Notice where you're dimming your light and ask: am I doing this for safety, for connection, or out of shame? Those are different answers. Sometimes the social expectation is actually protecting something you value. Sometimes it's just fear. The difference matters. Start by writing down three contexts where you feel most yourself, and three where you feel most constrained. Don't judge either list. Just observe the pattern. That's where the real work begins.