How do I know what my actual priorities are versus what I think they should be?

This is where most of us get tangled. We inherit priorities like we inherit furniture—they're just there until we bump into them in the dark. Laozi would say: stop pushing so hard to *decide* what matters. Instead, watch yourself. Where does your attention actually go when no one's watching? Where do you lose time without resenting it? That's closer to truth than any list you'll make. The gap between 'should' and 'actual' isn't a failure—it's data. If you say family is priority one but you're checking email at dinner, that's not weakness. It's information. Maybe family is a priority, but presence isn't your current capacity. Maybe email isn't the real pull—maybe it's escape from something harder. Wu wei isn't about forcing alignment; it's about seeing clearly what's already flowing in you, then working *with* that current instead of against it. Start small: pick three things you did last week that mattered. Not that should have mattered—that actually did. Look at the pattern. What do they have in common? That's where your real priorities live right now. From there, you can make actual choices, not guilty ones.