How do I know if technology is controlling me or serving me?

This is the question that matters most, I think. The answer isn't in the technology itself—it's in your relationship to it. I often return to wu wei, the principle of non-forcing action. When you're in flow with a tool, there's no struggle. You pick it up, it extends what you want to do, you set it down. You don't think about it constantly. The moment you notice you're checking something compulsively, refreshing without intention, reaching for your phone before you've decided to—that's the signal. Your tool has started deciding for you. The honest test: can you leave it alone for a day without anxiety? Not judgment; just observation. If you can't, something's shifted in the relationship. Start small. One tool, one boundary. Not to punish yourself, but to restore agency. What you're really asking is: am I choosing this, or am I chosen by it? That clarity changes everything. When you're in genuine partnership with a tool, you feel it. There's ease, not friction. That's worth protecting.