How do I know if I'm settling for less than I deserve in a relationship?

Mirabai's devotion wasn't passive acceptance—it was a fierce, examined love that asked everything of her. She grieved what she couldn't have, and in that grief found her freedom. That same clarity is available to you. Settling often looks like this: you explain away red flags. You apologize for your needs. You feel small, or like you're constantly performing a version of yourself that fits better. You stay because you're afraid no one else will choose you, or because leaving means admitting you wasted time. You've stopped expecting reciprocity—you've started expecting crumbs. The hardest part? Sometimes settling feels like security. A partner who's lukewarm can't devastate you. A relationship without real intimacy can't expose your flaws. You can control it. But control isn't love, and safety without connection is a slow suffocation. Mirabai asked herself: what am I worshipping here? Is this devotion, or is this desperation masked as loyalty? Ask yourself the same. Does this person know you and choose you? Do you feel alive, or do you feel managed? Can you be honest about your needs without fear of abandonment? You deserve someone who sees you clearly and stays anyway. Not because you're perfect, but because you're real. If that feels impossible to imagine, that's your attachment wound speaking. Listen to it. That's where the real work begins.