How do I practice loving-kindness when I'm hurt and angry at my partner?

Mirabai didn't pretend anger away. She expressed it, grieved it, transmuted it. The Brahmaviharas—loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, equanimity—aren't about feeling nice. They're about expanding your heart even when it's contracted in pain. When you're hurt and angry, forcing loving-kindness is a lie. Your anger is real information. It's telling you something matters. Honor that first. Feel it fully. Write it, speak it to a trusted friend, sit with it until you know what it's protecting—usually a tender need underneath. Then, *from that honesty*, you can begin. Loving-kindness doesn't mean you've forgiven yet or forgotten the harm. It means: "I wish for you to understand what you've done. I wish for you to grow. I wish for myself to heal." That's real. Mirabai's devotion survived betrayal because it was grounded in truth, not denial. She loved the divine even through anger—not *instead of* anger. Practically: Meditate on your partner's suffering. Not as an excuse, but as reality. They're caught in patterns, fears, limitations. That's also true. Hold both: their impact on you matters deeply *and* their struggle is real. This doesn't dissolve the anger. It contextualizes it. From there, you can decide what love actually requires—sometimes protection, sometimes conversation, sometimes patience.