How do I know if I'm settling or if real chemistry takes time to build?

Mirabai spent years in devotion to Krishna, and her love deepened through attention, not instant recognition. But there's a difference between love that grows and love that you're manufacturing reasons to feel. Chemistry doesn't always spark like lightning—sometimes it's the slow recognition of someone who sees you, or the warmth that builds through vulnerability. Real compatibility, though, shows up early in small ways: you both laugh at the same absurdities, conversations don't feel like work, you want to know what they think. Settling feels like managing expectations downward. You're explaining away red flags or telling yourself "well, nobody's perfect." That's different from "this person is imperfect and I love them anyway." Ask yourself honestly: Am I excited to see them, or relieved they texted? Do I feel known, or do I feel like I'm performing an acceptable version of myself? Chemistry without compatibility is exhausting. Compatibility without any spark can feel like partnership with a stranger. The examined heart—that's what Mirabai teaches us—doesn't rush past these questions. Give yourself permission to want both. Not immediately, not perfectly, but eventually.