Why do I keep choosing partners who can't give me what I need emotionally?

This is the grief question. Mirabai grieved deeply—not because she loved the wrong person, but because she loved truly and wasn't loved back in the same way. Some of us have learned that love means longing. We were taught early that if we just loved hard enough, proved ourselves enough, stayed patient enough, we'd finally be chosen. So we practice on people who can't choose us. It feels familiar. It feels like home. But here's what Mirabai understood through her examined heart: you are already chosen. Not by them—by yourself, by the life that's waiting if you stop performing devotion for scraps. The pattern usually has roots. Maybe a parent was emotionally unavailable, so unavailability feels like love. Maybe you learned that your worth lives in what you can do for someone else. Start there. Not with blame, but with compassion for the younger you who learned these rules to survive. Then ask: What would it feel like to choose someone who is already choosing you? Not perfect, not rescue-ready, just present? That's not less passionate. That's clearer. That's yours.