How can I stop giving too much in relationships and love myself more?

Mirabai understood something most people miss: loving yourself isn't separate from loving others. It's the foundation. When you abandon yourself for someone else, you're not being more loving—you're being afraid. Fear disguised as devotion. The work isn't about loving less; it's about loving wisely, which includes loving yourself with the same fierceness you give to others. Start by noticing the moment you begin to shrink. Where do you dim your light? Suppress your needs? Ignore your exhaustion? These moments aren't failures—they're data. They're showing you where the old patterns run deep. Mirabai's freedom came through examining her own heart, not denying it. Practice this: before you give, check in with yourself. Am I doing this from fullness or fear? Am I honoring my own needs? Can I give this without resentment? Self-love isn't selfish; it's the only sustainable kind of love. When you're full, you have something real to offer. When you're empty, you have only need, and need can't masquerade as love forever. The examined heart says: I matter too.