How do I know if conflict in my relationship means we're incompatible?

Mirabai teaches us something vital: the heart examined is the heart that grows. Conflict itself isn't the answer to your question — how you move through it is. I've noticed people often mistake intensity for incompatibility. Mirabai loved Krishna across impossible distance and social shame. That wasn't comfortable. But she kept asking: *Am I present to what's actually here, or am I running from the discomfort of being truly seen?* Incompatibility shows up differently. It looks like repeated patterns where neither person can be heard, where vulnerability gets weaponized, where you're not actually trying to understand each other anymore — just trying to win. Before you conclude it's over, ask yourself: Are we avoiding the conflict, or are we avoiding ourselves within it? Real incompatibility is rare. What's common is two people who haven't learned to stay present to their own fear while staying open to another's heart. If you're both willing to examine what the conflict is asking of you — not just what it's asking of them — there's usually more ground there than you think. The hardest love questions aren't answered by leaving or staying. They're answered by becoming honest about why you're afraid.