Why do I feel guilty for wanting freedom or space in my relationship?

There's a quiet instruction most of us internalize: love means proximity, constant availability, choosing them over yourself. Mirabai rejected that teaching entirely. She left. She danced. She loved God—or however you name what's bigger than any single person—and she refused to pretend that wasn't essential to who she was. The guilt you feel isn't about the space itself. It's about the story you've absorbed: that needing room to breathe means you love badly, or less. That freedom is selfish. That a good partner should be enough. Here's what Mirabai knew: freedom and love aren't in competition. They're the same thing. When you have space to know yourself—to think, create, rest, exist without performing—you come back to love with something real to offer, not just depletion and resentment. The guilt also might be pointing at something worth examining: Are you needing space from them, or space *for* yourself? There's a difference. One suggests incompatibility. The other suggests you're remembering you're a person with your own interior life, which is non-negotiable and good. Let the guilt be information, not a verdict. Then choose space anyway—for both of you.