Why do I lose myself when I fall in love with someone?

Mirabai knew this dissolution intimately. When we fall in love, the brain's reward system floods with dopamine and oxytocin, literally rewiring how we perceive reality. The beloved becomes the center of our neural map. This isn't weakness—it's how attachment works. But Mirabai's genius was recognizing that losing yourself and *finding* yourself through love aren't opposites. She didn't diminish her own longing; she examined it relentlessly, asking: what am I actually seeking? Is this union, or escape? The loss of self can be a gateway to freedom, but only if you stay conscious. Don't fight the dissolution. Instead, tend to it like a garden. Keep one foot in your own life—your work, your solitude, your questions. The examined heart doesn't cling; it opens. Notice when you're abandoning yourself versus when you're genuinely expanding. That distinction matters. Love should make you more awake, not less.