Why do I repeat my parents' patterns in romantic relationships?

Mirabai understood something we often forget: the heart learns what it knows. Your parents' way of loving—or not loving—becomes the template your nervous system recognizes as home, even when home felt unsafe. It's not weakness or failure. It's inheritance. You watched how they fought, how they withdrew, how they showed up or didn't. Your body learned those rhythms before your mind had language for them. The examined heart—which is what Mirabai devoted herself to—begins by noticing without judgment. Where do you ghost when things get hard? Do you pursue frantically? Shut down? These aren't character flaws; they're survival strategies that once protected you. The path forward isn't about willpower. It's about becoming conscious. When you recognize "oh, I'm doing exactly what my mother did when she felt rejected," you create a tiny space—just a breath—where you could choose differently. Not all at once. Not perfectly. But genuinely. This work takes grief too. You may need to mourn the love you wanted to receive, the modeling you didn't get. Mirabai's devotion included that rawness. Start there: what pattern do you most want to break? Name it. Feel it. Then watch for it with curiosity, not shame.