Why do close friendships sometimes feel more intimate than my romantic relationship

You're not confused — you're noticing something true. Mirabai devoted herself to the divine with an intensity that transcended category. Her love was passionate, embodied, examined. Friendships can offer a kind of intimacy that feels safer precisely because they're not entangled with need in the same way. There's less at stake materially, less pressure for the other person to complete you. You can be fully yourself without it threatening the structure. With romantic partners, we often hold back our edges — the grief, the unresolved hurt, the parts that don't fit. With close friends, sometimes we're braver. Also: friendships that've lasted through seasons build a kind of knowing that takes time. You've seen each other change. That's its own form of love. This doesn't mean something is wrong with your romantic relationship. It might mean you need more emotional freedom in it, or that your friend is meeting a need for witness that your partner isn't. Worth naming directly, gently, without blame. Some of the most alive people I know have had to renegotiate their romantic partnerships to make space for real friendships. That's not betrayal — that's honesty.