How do I stop feeling guilty about things I can't change anymore?

Mirabai knew something about this—she loved a god she couldn't have, lived in a way her family called shameful, and instead of drowning in guilt, she wrote it into devotion. The guilt you're carrying likely means you care deeply. But caring doesn't require you to carry what's already behind you. Start by naming the specific thing: not "I'm a bad person," but "I said something harsh and can't take it back" or "I made a choice that hurt someone." That specificity matters. Then ask yourself: Have I made amends where possible? Have I genuinely changed my behavior since? If yes to both, the guilt staying is just old muscle memory—your nervous system replaying something your mind has already processed. Mirabai's devotion wasn't about perfection or erasing her past. It was about turning toward love instead of away in shame. You might try something similar: each time guilt surfaces, ask what it's protecting you from feeling underneath—often it's grief, helplessness, or fear. Sit with that for a minute. Then ask what you've learned. That's the useful part. The rest is just pain repeating itself. Write down one thing you genuinely cannot change. Speak it aloud. Then name one thing you *have* changed since. Let yourself feel the difference.