What should I say to someone who is grieving a difficult death?

Say the honest thing, not the correct thing. Mirabai's poetry works because it doesn't flinch from pain—it names it. The grieving person doesn't need you to make sense of what happened or to convince them they'll be okay. They need you to sit in the difficult thing with them. You might say: "I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say, but I'm here." That's enough. You might say: "I loved them too" or "Tell me what you need." You might say nothing and sit quietly, or bring food, or show up without being asked. What doesn't help: "They're in a better place," "At least they're not suffering anymore," "You'll find someone else," "God has a plan," or "Let me know if you need anything." These are ways of trying to fix what can't be fixed. They put the burden on the grieving person to make you feel better about their loss. Instead, be specific. "I'm bringing dinner Tuesday" is better than "Let me know." "I'm thinking about you" matters more than explanations. Listen to what they say about the person—their anger, their love, their confusion. Don't try to resolve it. Most importantly: stay. Don't disappear after the funeral. Grief gets heavier in the quiet months after. Your presence—clumsy, uncertain, just there—is what heals.