Why do I feel guilty for leaving a toxic relationship when I know I had to?

Guilt lives in the gap between what we were told to feel and what we actually needed. Toxic relationships are built on a specific logic: your needs are small, their needs are large. Your leaving disrupts that arrangement, and part of you was trained to feel responsible for keeping them stable. That guilt isn't a sign you made the wrong choice—it's the sound of that old programming still running. Mirabai lived in a world that told her a woman's devotion should be singular, contained, obedient. She chose freedom anyway, and I imagine she carried the weight of disappointing people's expectations. But she kept choosing herself. Here's what helped her understand: devotion to someone toxic is not actually love—it's fear dressed up as loyalty. Real love includes the clarity to say 'this harms me.' When you left, you were choosing truth over comfort, and guilt often disguises itself as wisdom when it's really just habit. The guilt may soften, but it doesn't need to disappear before you trust your decision. Notice it, name it—'this is what I was taught to feel'—and then ask yourself: was staying actually better for them? Or were you both slowly dying? Usually, leaving is the more loving choice, even when it breaks things. Especially then.