How do I know if I'm actually healing from heartbreak or just distracting myself?

There's a difference between moving forward and moving away. Real healing lets you think about the person without your chest closing up. You can remember what happened—the good and the painful parts—without needing to immediately numb it or argue with it in your head. Mirabai wrote about this constantly: the ache of separation from what you loved. She didn't pretend it away. But she also didn't stay trapped in the story of it. Notice where you are right now. Can you sit with sadness for five minutes without reaching for your phone? Can you remember something tender about them without spiraling into what-ifs? That's the difference. Distraction feels urgent and tastes like avoidance—constant scrolling, new relationships before you've grieved, staying so busy you never have a quiet moment. Healing feels slower. Quieter. It includes grief, yes, but it also includes small moments where you're just... here. Not running from it. Check in with yourself: Are you moving toward something (clarity, self-knowledge, peace), or away from something (pain, silence, solitude)? One is recovery. The other is just delay. The good news is you can change direction anytime you notice.