How can I help someone through grief without making it about myself?

This is the question that shows you're already thinking like Mirabai—with devotion to someone else's sorrow, not your own comfort. Grief isn't about you. This is the hardest and most important truth. Your discomfort watching someone suffer is real, but it's secondary. You're not there to feel better about yourself, to prove you're a good friend, or to rush them toward "closure" so you don't have to witness their pain anymore. Stay curious about what *they* need, not what feels easy for you. If sitting quietly makes you anxious, sit anyway. If you want to say something meaningful but can't find it, say that: "I don't know what to say, but I'm here." That's more honest than performing grief expertise you don't have. Don't center your own losses unless they specifically ask. Don't expect gratitude or updates on their healing. Don't measure their progress against your timeline. Mirabai loved with her whole examined heart—not because it felt good, but because it was true. The deepest support is this: you become a container for their grief without needing them to make you feel better about it. You show up, you stay, and you let their healing be messy and nonlinear. That's not selflessness—it's love.