How do I set boundaries with someone I love who has an addiction?

Mirabai knew something about loving fiercely while protecting yourself—that's what bhakti is, really. A clear-eyed devotion that doesn't require you to disappear. Setting boundaries with someone struggling with addiction isn't about withholding love. It's about being honest about what you can hold and what you can't. You might say: "I love you and I can't loan you money anymore," or "I'm here for your recovery, not your using." The grief in this is real—you're mourning the person you thought they'd be while they're still becoming whoever they'll be. Boundaries aren't walls; they're the architecture that lets love survive the hard seasons. Start small. Name one thing that depletes you most. Then decide what you need to do differently. This might mean going to Al-Anon, talking to a therapist, or simply saying no to one request you'd normally say yes to. Notice what comes up—shame, anger, relief. All of it is information. The examined heart, as Mirabai practiced it, sees clearly what is. Not what should be. Not what you wish were true. What is. From there, love can be both boundless and boundaried.