How do I know if I'm enabling their addiction or genuinely supporting them?

This is the question that keeps you awake at 3 a.m., isn't it? Mirabai lived in paradox—complete surrender alongside radical clarity. Support feeds their recovery; enabling feeds their addiction. The line is thin, and it moves. A few hard questions: Does my help solve their immediate problem or solve their need to face the problem? Am I doing something they could do themselves? Am I making their consequences softer? Am I hoping my actions will change them? If you're paying bills so they don't feel the weight of their spending, that's enabling. If you're encouraging them to enter treatment, that's supporting. If you're lying to their family to protect them, that's enabling. If you're honestly naming what you see and what you won't tolerate, that's supporting. But here's what Mirabai understood: clarity comes through the examined heart, not through thinking alone. Notice how you feel after you help them. Does it feel like love? Or does it feel like you're erasing yourself? Does it feel like you're steadying them toward ground, or catching them before they hit ground? Your body knows the difference. Trust it. When in doubt, ask: "Whose recovery is this action serving—theirs, or my need to feel like I'm helping?" That honesty is where support actually begins.