Why do I keep choosing partners who don't reciprocate my emotional effort?

Mirabai loved Krishna with a devotion that was never returned in the way she might have hoped—yet she kept loving, kept singing, kept showing up. There's something in us that can become addicted to the reaching itself, especially if we learned early that love meant proving our worth through sacrifice. This pattern often comes from a specific wound: maybe a parent's love felt conditional, or distant, and we internalized that we had to *earn* closeness through effort. So we choose people who mirror that dynamic—it feels familiar, almost like home, even though it hurts. The examined heart asks: What am I protecting by choosing someone unavailable? Sometimes it's safer to love someone who can't fully receive us, because then rejection becomes about them, not about our fundamental lovability. Start noticing the moment you feel that pull—that sense of "if I just try harder, prove more, wait longer." That's the signal. It's not about stopping the love; it's about redirecting it toward people who are actually *here*, actually choosing you back. That reciprocal love isn't shallow or less profound. It's actually where freedom begins.