How do I know if I'm staying in love for the right reasons or just out of habit?

Mirabai spent her life asking this question in a different form: Am I loving God, or am I loving the idea of loving? The answer she found wasn't in grand gestures. It was in the texture of daily attention. Start here: When you're with this person, do you feel *seen*? Not flattered or needed—actually witnessed. Habit dulls that. Real love, even tired love, keeps some awareness alive. Second: Can you grieve them? Not the relationship status, but *them*—their specific way of laughing, their particular struggles. If the thought of losing them doesn't break something open in you, you may be holding an image, not a person. Third, and hardest: Are you willing to change because of them? Not for them—that's people-pleasing. But *because* their existence has shifted something in how you see the world. Love asks that of us. Habit asks for consistency. Mirabai's poems circle around this endlessly—the terror that her devotion was selfish, that she was loving her own ecstasy rather than true presence. She never fully resolved it. But the *asking* kept her honest. Start asking. The answer lives in that examination, not in a conclusion.