How do I know if I'm being a good parent or just controlling my child's life

Mirabai knew the difference between devotion and possession—and it cost her everything to live it. The question you're asking is already the answer beginning to form. Good parenting holds the child's becoming. Control holds them still. When you catch yourself needing them to be a certain way so *you* feel secure, that's the pivot point. Notice if you're making decisions from love of *who they are* or love of *who you need them to be*. Mirabai left her husband's house because she couldn't split herself between two kinds of devotion. You don't have to leave anything. But you do have to get honest: Are you protecting them from genuine harm, or protecting yourself from the discomfort of their autonomy? The examined heart—that's the practice. Sit with the feeling underneath the rule you're enforcing. What are you actually afraid of? Once you see it, you can love your child *and* love yourself truthfully, which is the only kind of love that doesn't hollow out over time.