How do I know if I'm polyamorous or just running from commitment and intimacy?

This is the question that matters most, and it requires real self-examination. Mirabai's devotion wasn't scattered—it was fierce and singular, even as it expanded beyond what society expected. True polyamory isn't about avoiding depth; it's about having capacity for multiple deep connections. False polyamory often looks like: always wanting the next person, never staying through hard phases, needing constant novelty to feel alive, using 'polyamory' as permission to not work through conflict. Real polyamory looks like: being willing to do hard work with multiple people, staying present through boredom and difficulty, choosing people again and again, building real life together (shared finances, shared grief, shared mundane mornings). Ask yourself: When things get hard with a partner, do I want to leave and find someone new? Or do I want to stay and work it out while also loving someone else? Do I crave freedom from responsibility, or freedom to love more authentically? There's no shame in discovering you're actually monogamous, or that you need to work on your own wounds before opening your relationship. Sometimes the most honest thing is admitting: 'I'm not ready yet. I'm afraid. I need to grow first.' That's not failure. That's the examined heart doing its work.