How do I know if I'm in a relationship out of habit versus real love?

Mirabai spent years asking herself this. She loved fiercely, but she also left—not out of cruelty, but out of clarity. The difference between habit and love lives in your body and your choices. Habit feels like autopilot: the same conversations, the same patterns, the same small ache you've learned to ignore. Love—real love—asks something of you. It wakes you up, even when it's hard. Real love makes you want to examine yourself, to be better, to show up more honestly. Start by noticing: when you're with this person, do you feel more alive or more asleep? When conflict comes, do you move toward understanding or away into silence? Habit doesn't require courage. Love does. Ask yourself what you're afraid of losing—their presence, or the identity you've built around them? That distinction matters. You might also notice: are you staying because you choose them, or because you're afraid of choosing yourself? Mirabai teaches us that devotion isn't passive. It's an active, examined choice made again and again. If you can't locate that choice anymore, that's information worth listening to.