How do I know if my attachment style is affecting my relationships negatively?

This is the question that changes everything, because most of us don't realize our attachment patterns are operating beneath awareness. Patanjali would call this a form of avidya — not really seeing what's in front of us. The signs are usually there: Do you find yourself pulling away when someone gets close? Do you need constant reassurance? Do you swing between independence and desperation? These aren't character flaws — they're learned strategies that once protected you. The work isn't about blame; it's about recognition. Watch your reactions in moments of emotional vulnerability. Notice what you do when someone disappoints you or when intimacy feels risky. Your nervous system holds the answer. Once you see the pattern clearly — without judgment — you can begin to choose differently. The mastery Patanjali speaks of starts here: not with forcing change, but with honest observation of what is. This clarity itself is transformative. It's the first real step toward genuine connection.