How do I know if I'm processing grief or just avoiding it?

Patanjali teaches that awareness is the first step toward transformation. The honest answer: if you're asking this question, you're already noticing something. Processing grief means you're meeting it—even briefly, even imperfectly. You might cry, then distract yourself, then cry again. That's not avoidance; that's a real human rhythm. Avoidance looks different: the grief never surfaces at all. You stay perpetually busy, or numb, or you intellectualize everything without feeling it. The practice here is simple observation. Notice what happens when you sit quietly for five minutes and let yourself think about what you've lost. Does something arise? Sadness, anger, loneliness? That's processing. Does nothing come, just a wall of blankness? That might signal avoidance worth gently exploring. Patanjali reminds us that mastery begins with honest seeing—of ourselves, our patterns, our resistance. You don't need to process perfectly. You just need to keep looking, kindly, at what's true. The moment you notice avoidance, you've already begun to move through it.