How do I practice devotional spirituality without losing my sense of self?

The ache that Rumi writes about—that longing for union with the divine—can sometimes pull us so far outward that we forget we're also here, in this body, in this moment. This is the paradox of devotional life: you don't dissolve into love and lose yourself. You become more fully yourself. I've watched people in new spiritual communities think that self-negation equals devotion, that having boundaries means you don't love enough. That's a misreading of what it means to surrender. Real devotion doesn't ask you to abandon your gifts, your discernment, or your right to say no. It asks you to show up more courageously. You can honor a spiritual teacher or path while also honoring your own unfolding. Your particular voice, your questions, your way of loving—these aren't distractions from the path. They're part of why you're here. The deepest spiritual work I've seen happens when people stop trying to become someone else and start becoming more genuinely themselves. Your individuality and your spiritual seeking aren't in conflict. They're dancing together.