What's a fair amount to spend on aging parent care without ruining my own future?

Fair is not a fixed number—it's a ratio between what you give and what remains for you to live on. This is where economic justice starts at home. I think about it this way: you can't be a reliable caregiver if you're financially panicking. So the honest answer requires knowing three things clearly: what your parent actually needs (not fears), what you can afford without sacrificing retirement or stability, and what other resources exist—their own savings, programs, other siblings. Then you negotiate among those realities. If your parent needs $15,000 a year in care and you can contribute $3,000 without harm, that's your number. The rest comes from their assets, Medicare, Medicaid, or gets shared differently. Refusing to overextend isn't abandonment—it's sustainable love. Your parent's financial security matters, but not more than your own. A good life for them means you're not resentful or broke. These conversations require numbers, not guilt.