Distinguishing between actions driven by guilt or obligation versus Rabia's pure, love-centered intention, liberating parents from burnout and relapse triggers.
Rabia famously rejected serving God out of fear of Hell or hope of Paradise—she sought only pure, unmixed love. This concept applies powerfully to parenting recovery: many addicted parents remain trapped in guilt-driven parenting ('I must be perfect to make up for my disease') or obligation ('My children need me'). While true, these motivations are fragile. When exhaustion arrives, guilt-driven action collapses into relapse. Rabia teaches the distinction between mixed and pure intention. Pure intention in parenting means acting from genuine love for your child's unfolding, not from shame remediation or obligation. This doesn't mean perfection—it means presence without desperate compensation. Children can feel the difference; they relax when parented from genuine care rather than frantic guilt. This concept invites parents to examine their deepest motivation: 'Am I showing up for my child's sake, or for my redemption?' The former sustains recovery. Paradoxically, releasing guilt-motivation often strengthens parental consistency.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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