After years of holding others' grief, who holds mine?

You have sat beside the dying for decades. You held their fear, their families' sorrow, their last words. You learned to do this well. It became your skill, then your identity. But here is the honest question: who has sat beside you? Not as a duty, not as a professional kindness — as a person, choosing to be present for your grief. If the answer is no one, that is not bad luck. You built a life where you give but rarely receive. That pattern did not happen to you. You chose it, meal by meal, year by year, without noticing. This is not a flaw to mourn. It is a door you have left shut. You can open it. Start today, with one person, one honest sentence. If the weight feels too heavy to carry alone, a counselor or trusted support can help you carry it — that is not weakness, it is sense.