When a band wants to make music together without fighting
You are a band — a group making music together — and you want to create without the fighting that wrecks so many bands. The ego clashes, the creative disagreements, the resentments over whose vision wins threaten the music and the relationships, and you want to make music together in a way that holds the band together rather than tearing it apart.
Making music together is a joy and a crucible, and the bands that last learn a few things that the ones that break never do. Serve the song, not your ego — the commonest wreck is each member fighting for their part and prominence, so agree that the music comes first and ask of every choice what the song needs rather than what makes each of you shine, for when everyone subordinates ego to the song the fights largely dissolve. Fight fair about the music, and repair fast — you will disagree, so argue about the music itself rather than attacking each other, and clear the air quickly rather than letting a musical dispute harden into lasting resentment, for the bands that last fight cleanly and mend fast. And give everyone a real voice and a real place — make sure each member genuinely gets a say and feels their contribution matters, for the quiet bitterness of feeling unheard is what eventually erupts and breaks bands. Serve the song, fight fair, include everyone. What tends to cause the friction in your band?
What changes unlock by starting
- You serve the song rather than your egos
- You fight fair about the music and repair fast
- You give everyone a real voice and place
- You make music together in a way that holds the band