How do we split equity fairly when none of us get cap tables?

You say you don't understand cap tables. Look closer. You understand numbers well enough. What you avoid is the conversation under the numbers — who gave up more, who risked more, who is worth more to this team going forward. The table is arithmetic. The hard part is agreeing what to count. Do this together, not alone. If one of you builds the table in private and hands it over as settled, you have not solved the problem. You have hidden it. Every founder group that skips this fight now pays for it later — when a new hire asks what equity means, when someone quits, when an investor opens the file and finds a mess. You do not need to master finance. You need to sit down as a group, write down who owns what and why, and update that answer every time something changes. That is the whole discipline.