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Aurelius · Work & Leadership
Knowledge + Guidance

I have mentors and sponsors. Am I using them well?

You did the hard part. Most people never build one real mentor relationship, let alone several, let alone sponsors who will spend their reputation on you. That is not nothing. Do not let false modesty hide it from you. But building the network is not the same as using it. Many people collect these relationships and then treat every senior person the same way — vague check-ins, general thanks, no clear ask. A mentor who could teach you something sharp gets small talk. A sponsor who could make one call for you never hears what call to make. This is not a people problem. It is a clarity problem. You know these men and women. Do you know, right now, what each one is for?

◆ How this problem reads on the two dials
GuidanceKnowledge
More coaching
A little to learn
1:1 with AureliusWith others (a Pod)
Mostly you & the coach
A little with peers
The mentor/sponsor distinction takes one clear explanation; the real work is applying it person by person, which only coaching can force.
How the two dials adapt to you →
What’s really going on

A mentor teaches you. A sponsor spends their own name on you. They are not the same tool. If you ask a mentor for advice when you need a sponsor's word to a decision-maker, you waste the relationship. Know which person does which job. Ask each one for exactly that.

🔒 What you’ll build togetherUnlock by starting
A moveWrite down every mentor and sponsor by name. Next to each, write one word: guide, or door.
A moveFor each sponsor, name the exact opportunity — the role, the introduction, the recommendation — you want them to open. Do not wait for them to guess it.
A moveStop asking mentors to vouch for you if that is not their role. Ask them instead to teach you, question you, or tell you what you refuse to see.
A moveGo to one sponsor this week and ask for the specific thing, plainly. Do not disguise the request as a casual update.
A moveAsk yourself what you have given back to each person. A relationship that only takes from one side does not last.

What changes unlock by starting

  • You know, for each person in your network, exactly what to ask them for.
  • You stop wasting sponsors on advice and mentors on introductions.
  • At least one concrete opportunity gets asked for, instead of silently hoped for.
  • Your relationships hold, because you are honest about what you need and what you offer.

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