Why can't I get these executives to just agree?
You sit in the room where executives want different things. You think your job is to find the words that make them agree. So you absorb their tension. You carry their conflict. You lose sleep over disagreements that are not yours. Their agendas were in conflict before you walked in. You did not create that conflict. You cannot resolve what was never yours to resolve. What you can do is smaller — and it is enough. Ask yourself what you actually know to be true here. Say that plainly. Let the rest belong to them.
It is not your task to make them agree. That belongs to them. Your task is smaller and harder: know what you believe is true, say it plainly, and let their disagreement remain theirs. You carry tension that was never yours to carry. Put it down.
What changes unlock by starting
- You walk into high-stakes meetings with less dread, because their agreement is not your responsibility.
- You speak more plainly, because you stop managing everyone's feelings at once.
- You stop losing sleep over disagreements that were never yours to fix.
- You notice faster when you're carrying someone else's conflict, and you set it down sooner.