Why do I still carry the animals I couldn't save?

You read a body better than most people read words. You see the limp before the owner mentions it, the fever before it spikes. And still, some die. You keep a private ledger of them — their faces, their names, the moment you knew. Here is what you are actually doing: you are treating outcome as if it were entirely in your hands. It never was. You control the exam, the judgment, the care you give. You do not control the disease, the timing, the body's will to hold on. Grief for the animal is honest. Guilt for not being God is not. If this weight has been sitting on you for a long time, or it is affecting your sleep, your work, or your will to keep doing this job, talk to someone trained to help carry grief — a counselor, not just a colleague over coffee. That is not weakness. That is using your judgment the way you would tell any client to use theirs.