Why does carrying people's fates feel so heavy and lonely?

You sit where your choices land on other people's lives — their pay, their standing, sometimes their sense of themselves. That is simply the fact of the chair you hold. No one trains you for how that actually feels. You did not expect the isolation. No one warned you that deciding well often means deciding alone. But look closely: much of that isolation is something you keep choosing, not something forced on you. You decide, each day, whether to speak plainly about the weight or carry it in silence. The weight itself will not go away. That is the job. But you can choose to stop carrying it in secret, and to judge yourself by how well you decide, not by outcomes you never fully controlled. If the weight feels crushing most days, not just hard ones, bring in someone trained to help you carry it. That is not weakness — it is simply using the help that is there.