The Pattern
The online self and the actual self are diverging — and the performance of the online self is consuming the energy that could go into being the actual self. That performance is worth questioning.
What Mastery Looks Like
A deliberate, protected relationship with attention
The Path Forward
Work through it with Laozi
Guides on this pattern, each one a conversation you can start rather than an article you read.
Why do I let my follower count decide how I feel?Why do I reach for my phone before I even open my eyes?Why do I reach for my phone before my eyes even open?Why do I text when I should just call?Why do we text hard things instead of calling?Why does my follower count control my mood?Why does my mood get set by other people before I even wake up?
Related patterns
Patterns that often live alongside this one.
Pattern · LaoziBe Kinder to YourselfPattern · LaoziBreak a Compulsive HabitPattern · LaoziBuild a Better Relationship With YourselfPattern · LaoziBuild a Life That's Actually YoursPattern · LaoziChallenge Your Negative ThoughtsPattern · LaoziCreate Just for the Joy of ItPattern · LaoziCut Through Information OverloadPattern · LaoziEnjoy Your Life AgainPattern · LaoziFind More Joy in Everyday LifePattern · LaoziGet Past the Fear of Sharing Your WorkPattern · LaoziKeep Creating for the Long HaulPattern · LaoziLonelinessPattern · LaoziSpend in Line With Your ValuesPattern · LaoziStart Playing AgainPattern · LaoziStop Analyzing and Start ActingPattern · LaoziStop Being Busy All the TimePattern · LaoziStop Getting DistractedPattern · LaoziStop Measuring Yourself by ProductivityPattern · LaoziStop Worrying About Money
Working through “Stop Performing Online”?
Talk it through with Laozi, and start where it actually helps.