LibraryPatternsBuild a Healthier Team CultureCliques have formed on my team — in-groups and out-gr…
Problem
Toward Craftsmanship

Cliques have formed on my team — in-groups and out-groups, people who are in on things and people who are not. The social lines have hardened into something that shapes who gets heard and who gets left out, and it is quietly corrosive.

Part of the pattern: Build a Healthier Team Culture
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You might also say it as
  • cliques have formed on my team
  • there are in-groups and out-groups
  • social lines decide who gets heard
How Aurelius might see it
One way to read this — take what fits, leave what doesn’t.
The team has split into insiders and outsiders, and that split is now running the show — deciding who gets heard, who gets credit, who gets left out. This isn't a personality clash. It's a broken information flow, and you're feeling the weight of being on the wrong side of it.
The short answer
Cliques on a team aren't just uncomfortable — they block who gets heard and who gets resources. The fix isn't to force friendships. It's to build your own direct connections, one conversation at a time, so you're not dependent on the clique's network to be visible.
When social lines harden at work, they start doing real damage quietly. Research on workplace friendships shows they have a dark side — the same closeness that makes a friend group feel good can lock out people who aren't in it. And research on influence in organizations shows that where you sit in the social network shapes whether your ideas travel. It's not just about feelings. It's about who hears what, and when. Marcus Aurelius had a blunt way of cutting through things that felt bigger than they were. He'd look at something that seemed powerful or permanent and say — what is this, really? Strip it down. A clique looks solid from the outside, but it's just a few people who started talking more than others. That's it. The lines feel hard, but they're not fixed in stone. They shift when someone new keeps showing up, keeps being useful, keeps connecting directly with people — not through the group. This week, pick one person who seems to sit outside the main clique — or inside it, if you can reach them one-on-one. Ask them something genuine about their work. Not a meeting, not a formal thing. Just a real question. You're not trying to break the clique. You're building your own thread in the network, one connection at a time. That's how visibility is rebuilt — quietly, directly, person by person.
The path forward
  1. 1Name the social lines forming
  2. 2Create one cross-group connection
  3. 3Address it structurally
One thing to try this week
Deliberately mix the groupings this week — pairings, seating, project pairs — that the cliques would not choose. Structured contact across the lines is what softens them.
Related problems
A new hire has altered the team dynamic in ways I did not anticipate. The culture I built is more fragile than I thought and I am not sure how to protect what was working without being rigid.Bad news does not reach me until it is a crisis. The team filters what they share based on how they expect me to respond. I am operating with a systematically positive picture of what is actually happening.Credit on my team does not land where the work was done — the visible few are recognised while the people who actually carried things go unseen. The unfairness is breeding quiet resentment, and the ones doing the real work are starting to give less.Every change I introduce meets a wall of resistance — we have always done it this way, quiet non-compliance, waiting it out until I give up. The team has become so change-averse that improvement itself feels like a fight, and I am tired of pushing uphill.I am losing or have lost a top performer and I don't fully understand why.I can be glad for others' success and run my own race, measured against my values instead of their highlights.
Sources
  1. 1. Friends Without Benefits: Understanding the Dark Sides of Workplace FriendshipJulianna Pillemer; Nancy P. Rothbard, Academy of Management Review (2018)
  2. 2. Being in the Right Place: A Structural Analysis of Individual Influence in an OrganizationDaniel J. Brass, Administrative Science Quarterly (1984)
  3. 3. Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 9.34Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (180)

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