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Accept Feedback Without Getting Defensive
I am genuinely open to feedback that confirms the dir…
Problem
Toward Craftsmanship
I am genuinely open to feedback that confirms the direction I am already taking. Feedback that suggests a fundamental course change is welcomed less and acted on almost never.
Part of the pattern:
Accept Feedback Without Getting Defensive
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Message Aurelius…
The path forward
1
Notice the confirmation bias
2
Consider the disconfirming feedback fully
3
Act on it once
Become a Better Leader
The journey that resolves this.
One thing to try this week
Identify feedback you have received in the last six months that suggested a course change you have not made. Revisit it this week with fresh eyes.
Related problems
A single piece of criticism can keep me up at night, replaying the moment and everything I should have said. The feedback itself might have been minor, but my mind treats it like a wound to be reopened until dawn.
A small piece of feedback sends me into a complete overhaul — I tear the whole thing down and rebuild far beyond what was asked. I cannot take a minor note as minor; it becomes evidence that everything must be wrong.
Any criticism of my work feels like confirmation that I'm fundamentally not good enough.
Critical feedback sends me into a period of self-doubt that can last days. The feedback itself might be small. The recovery period is disproportionate and getting longer.
Critical feedback takes me a long time to absorb. In the week after receiving it I am defensive, then slowly open, then eventually grateful. The cycle is too long and too costly.
Criticism crushes me and I get defensive.
Working through this?
Talk it through with Aurelius, and start where it actually helps.
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