The short answer
You don't have a feedback problem — you have an audience problem. The moment others are watching, you split your attention between the message and how you appear. Train yourself to have one job in that moment: hear the feedback. Everything else can wait.
You can process feedback just fine when it's private. That tells you the feedback itself isn't the issue. Research on feedback culture points to something real here: how safe a person feels in the moment shapes whether they can actually take in what's being said. When others are watching, a layer of self-protection kicks in, and it hijacks your ability to listen. That's not weakness — it's a very human response to feeling exposed.
Marcus Aurelius put it simply: use the tool you have for the work in hand, without needing it to look good. Your ability to hear and process feedback is that tool. The audience watching you receive it isn't part of the job. When you remind yourself your only task is to hear the message — not to perform your reaction to it — the pressure of being watched loses some of its grip.
This week, pick one low-stakes moment where feedback might come in front of others — a team meeting, a check-in, anything small. Give yourself exactly one job in that moment: say nothing for three seconds after the feedback lands, then say 'let me think about that.' That's it. You don't have to respond well. You just have to buy yourself the same quiet space you naturally get in private.